Saturday, January 6, 2018

Hey there.

The last time I blogged was in 2015 and it's now 2018. That's really sad. Because I love to blog. I love to sit down and just write out my thoughts. It helps me to remember what I have to be grateful for and all the blessings I've been given on a daily basis.
I'm not even going to attempt to catch up on the last 2 1/2 years.
But I am going to post some pictures that I've taken lately.
This is our most recent family picture taken. At least professionally. And it's beautiful.
Here's the most recent one that we've take:
Maybe not as "styled" as the other one but it has my most favorite people in it so it's good.

I am excited for this new year. Here's a (small) list of some of my intentions for this year:

  • Drink more water
  • Be kinder to people
  • Grow spiritually
  • Eat more veggies
Lately I've struggled with anxiety. When I was younger, I struggled with it as well but haven't too much since I was 18. And now it's rearing it's ugly head. And my anxiety is very specific. Every morning I wake up at 6 with a stomach ache and so many thoughts that just make me feel bad.
After our accident, while driving home from Idaho Falls for the first time since I started driving again, I was dealing with some anxiety. So I started telling myself my testimony in my head while simultaneously praying that I would be okay. It helped. It calmed me down and got me through that dark half hour.
So one day last week while trying to calm myself down at 6 im the morning (!), I went through the Restoration starting with Joseph Smith searching for the right church to join. And it helped. I was calmer and felt better.
Those mornings though that I'm not able to calm down, my whole day feels off. It's like a little tickle in my head that is always there and so super annoying!
I've started to include meditation with my yoga also with the hope that it will help. I can look back on my life and see different experiences that have helped me with anxiety. When we were pregnant with Emily, Trevor and I practiced the Bradley Method. It has helped me learn how to use my breathing to calm myself down in painful situations. It was so helpful after the accident.
So now I'm using aspects of yoga like meditation and being still to hopefully help me control my thoughts while being anxious.
Dang I wish I didn't have to though!
Life is good even with the hard times, right?
Onwards and Upwards.
Picture proof of how good life can be...

Tuesday, October 20, 2015


Carl was such a good dog. The day he died was one of the saddest days my kids have ever faced. Maybe not the most tragic, but they'd never lost someone that they loved. We had tears for many days and Annabelle can't even listen to the song "See You Again" without crying or wanting to cry. Carl didn't have the greatest dog manners. He slept on everyone's bed, he ate human food as much as he could get away with, and he liked to chase chickens just for fun. He shed a lot of hair and would roll in chicken or cow poop a lot.
But we loved him. He was such a good dog and is so very much missed! I look through our old photos and I see so many with Carl just off in the background or right in front of the camera without us even realizing it. He just became a part of our lives. I found this picture and I had even forgotten it had ever been taken.

We have Maria now and we love her as well. But I think we will always, always miss Carl...

Monday, October 19, 2015


How have I gone so long without blogging about life with teenagers? It's fascinating and scary and confusing and fun. And sometimes there are bras just lying around the house and nail polish constantly on the kitchen table.
They say funny things and insightful things.
Stephen may not yet be a teenager but just the other night I was looking at a picture of our family and I mentioned how I thought I looked fat (not that I was fat, just that it was an unflattering picture- big difference) He said "maybe you're just standing by really skinny people." Touche. See? Funny and insightful.
I've noticed that many times raising teenagers can be confusing. I can say something one day and it's okay, but the next day, it can cause many, many tears.
You don't know this but I just took a break from writing this blog to go yell, I mean tell my kids to be quiet and to go to sleep. They argued with me and so they can no longer say another word the whole night. And yes, it's 9:25 so they'll only be up for another ten minutes or so but the peace that descends on our house when I use this punishment is so worth it. I have to use it sparingly though because I usually really do love to listen to my kids.
Back to teenagers. One of the biggest perks I've found is that my wardrobe has expanded to include the girls clothes. Of course that means that they get to wear my clothes as well but I'm okay with that. I just keep some of my "special" clothes un-borrow-able.
Also we watch lots of girlie movies and I paint their nails and help to figure out their skin problems.
However I hope that even though we have fun together, that they are learning that the most important role they will ever have is being a wife and mother. It's where I am most fulfilled and happy. I hope they understand that living the gospel is key to that happiness. Because my family is mine forever, I don't have to worry about the "what-if's" or accidents. I find so much peace in the covenants I have made.
Okay, so we are big Zac Efron fans. At least fans of his appropriate movies. Emily surprised us yesterday with a little celebration:
He stayed up there all during Star Wars which we watched last night and it's up there still. 
Emily and Anna really hope he had a great birthday...

Monday, September 28, 2015

Dear Blog, Annabelle, and Maria

I got on the computer today to get a teriyaki sauce recipe and realized my memory card from our camera was stuck in the right spot to pull pictures from so I thought "why not put some pictures out there in blog world?"
I looked at the pictures on the card and realized that they are mostly pictures of Anna and Maria. So this blog post is dedicated to them. Those two love each other. I love Annabelle and am learning to love Maria. She's a good dog but is still a whole lot of work! But she takes the place of another child and is lot less expensive than one, so we welcome her into our home!


Sunday, April 12, 2015

This girl...

She makes me happy. She is stronger and better than she even knows. I can't believe she is already fourteen. Sometimes I still just want to cuddle her and snuggle her...but she's not a baby anymore so she won't let me. I'll take a hug though anytime I can get one from her. Happy Birthday Emily Delight. We love you!

Tuesday, March 31, 2015

You should read this article.

No really, you should because it is really good and really inspiring.
I love marriage. I love that it makes me want to be a better person for Trevor and that it does make me a better person.  The relationship I have with Trevor is the most important relationship I have on the earth. I hope that you feel that way about your spouse as well!

Saturday, February 28, 2015

A big day tomorrow.

Joshua is getting baptized tomorrow morning and we are so happy for him! Our last, our baby is becoming responsible and accountable. Its kind of hard for me to let that go. We have family here visiting so that they can be there for him tomorrow. I appreciate so much their willingness to drive all this way to support him. We really do have the best family!

Tuesday, February 10, 2015

Fruit and trees and rods

Tonight Joshua read us his favorite scriptures. 1 Nephi 8:10-12. When we asked him why he likes those scriptures (which are about the tree of life) he said because he likes fruit and trees and rods. He gets baptized on February 28th and I really, really hope he is ready. He's excited so theres that. But he's also silly and has a hard time answering a question seriously. Its going to be a very bittersweet day for us!
BIG NEWS: I got a job today. I wasn't looking for one necessarily but a friend of mine works at the school as a secretary and they needed someone to help out from 11-1. So I applied and I didn't embarrass myself too much during the they offered me the job! I'm super excited. Like really excited! My first day is tomorrow so keep your fingers crossed that I do okay!

Monday, February 9, 2015


Emily was blessed with her dads lips. She looks fantastic in lipstick. It's always been a favorite thing of mine to apply the brightest red lipstick we have and make her pucker for the camera.

Sunday, February 8, 2015


When life gets crazy, something has to be neglected. It's better for it to be my blog than say, my kids, or my dog, or my husband. It was a spur of the moment thing that I decided to get on here and type and it feels good. It feels like home. It's been almost 3 months since I've last blogged and I'm just now realizing how much I've missed it.
I've had a lot on my mind lately. It seems like my mind just flits around from thought to thought like feathers in the wind (Forest Gump anyone?). I go from happy thoughts to sad thoughts to deep thoughts and then back to happy thoughts. I think I'm still dealing with emotions from the accident. When I think what could have happened and what actually happened, then I start to get depressed. Especially when I think of what I could have done to Trevor and what I did do to Trevor. It doesn't' make any sense to anyone but me. And I can't even try to explain. I am grateful though to be where we are at now. I'm grateful for my family, my ward, my patient children and husband. I'm grateful for Heavenly Father for sending us angels. I'm grateful for my Savior for sending us peace and comfort through the atonement. I'm grateful for the Holy Ghost for giving us inspiration to help make sense of things.  So when my mind wanders and I'm feeling remorse and sadness and regret, I try to remember the things I'm grateful for because there are innumerable reasons to be grateful.
We are all doing great. Anna and Stephen didn't have any long term injuries. Emily still feels pain in her back and is limited in the things she can do but she has a really good attitude. Joshua goes back to Primarys in a couple of weeks for x-rays and scans. I think it will be his last appointment. He's doing great. I'm fine. I rarely feel pain in my neck just an overall soreness that I'm quite used to by now. I grew a half an inch last year so that's pretty cool. But it was a really expensive half an inch and I wouldn't recommend it. When I think of all the hardware in my neck, it feels surreal so I try not to think about it.
It's been eight months today. Laying in the emergency room then, I remember thinking that they would just make the pain in my hand go away and we would all go home and everything would be back to normal. It wasn't like that as soon as I hoped for but it's like that now.
That's all for now...until next time, which I make no promises as to when next time will be,
Good night!