Thursday, May 3, 2012

How to be a lady.

Or it could more appropriately be titled "How not to be a lady".

I'm the adviser (teacher on Sundays) to the Beehives in my ward and the other day I was talking to my leader about the girls in our group. She mentioned a concern she had to me that has since been on my mind very frequently.

She talked of how important it is that we teach our girls to be feminine. I agree with this wholeheartedly. I believe a woman has a divine role as a feminine being. We have qualities and instincts different than our counterpart that is necessary to raising children, being wives and having an influence on the world around us~ whether it be the small town we live in, on our street, in our neighborhood or in a big city.

What I do not agree with is the assumption I made based on what she was telling me (and I could be I said I assumed and you know what they say about people who assume....). From what I gathered from our conversation, to be feminine, you would not want to play soccer, especially if you've been taking ballet for 10 years, you wouldn't wear converse high tops, and you would not act silly. Essentially being a tom-boy is out.

And I disagree.

For many reasons.

I believe that to be a lady your actions must meet certain standards. For example, you're kind to others. And if you are kind to others you don't judge, you don't gossip and you certainly don't manipulate or exclude.

Your appearance should also be ladylike~which does not mean that ballet flats and cardigans are a must. I believe a lady dresses neatly, wrinkle free and clean. A lady is free from bad odors. She is well groomed. I believe a lady can wear Converse and Vans and sweatshirts. Jewelry is not required. Her hair is clean and not greasy.

A lady carries herself confidently. She's polite. She watches the language she uses. A lady makes her point without belittling others. She stands tall.  She doesn't waver in her core beliefs. She smiles and has a happy face. She doesn't shy away from complimenting others and making others feel good about themselves.

My leader embodies all of this. She is a true lady to me. We may disagree on certain points but if she could see herself as an example of how a lady should be, she wouldn't worry about the other inconsequential things. The Beehives in our ward are lucky to have her to look up to.
And I count myself lucky to have her to look up to also.

My two ladies: