There is nothing in the whole world that I would rather be doing that what I have been doing for the last eleven years. I love being a mother and a wife more than anything. It fulfills me in ways that nothing else ever could. There are things that I want to do that are "just for me" things but they don't hold a candle to what actually occupies my mind, my thoughts and my whole self. Being here, at home with my family is where I'm supposed to be.
This morning as I got mad at Emily for taking way too long of a shower, not properly combing her hair before school, and for a couple other things, I was silently getting mad at myself, knowing that it was my own inadequacies that I should have been getting upset with. If I was awake at an earlier time (I haven't gotten up at 6 a.m for a long, long time) then I would have been able to tell her when to get out of the shower and I would have been able to show her a better way to comb her hair.
I thought about that today after she got on the bus. So I of course had to apologize when she got home (in a mom kind of way...as in "let's both do better").
That's one of the great things about being a mom; without them actually knowing it, my kids are helping to make me be better...even if it's in slow and sometimes painful ways (definitely due to my lack of humility).
I read a lot of political news today. Way too much. It makes me feel twisted up inside and it makes me feel bad. And so tomorrow I'm going to focus on the things that make me happy, like being my kids mom and Trevor's wife. Because with all of the uncertainty, I need to focus on what gives me peace and contentment.
I hope you do the same.
On a different note, Trevor can be so infuriating sometimes.
He's been in Seattle since yesterday and texted me this tonight: "Flight from Seattle was late, my 1 hour layover turned into 3 minutes before i got left in Salt Lake for the night..."
I tried calling 3 different times, no answer.
and so I texted him asking why he wasn't answering his phone.
I just got this message: "I guess I wasn't clear. so sorry. I MADE the plane by 3 minutes. I didn't answer because I was in the sky. Just landed in IF. I'll call you when I get in the car. Sorry for the confusion."
And then when I called him a *bad word, he said " I think you should reread the original message. I wasn't trying to mess with you...Love you too!"
He was definitely messing with me.
I am SO excited for him to be home. so so so so so excited. Life is not the same without him here. at home. with me...I mean, us.
*(btw I didn't call him a bad, bad word, just a Turd. but he doesn't like that very much because he takes it literally.)