what a beautiful mess

Joshua is getting baptized tomorrow morning and we are so happy for him! Our last, our baby is becoming responsible and accountable. Its kind of hard for me to let that go. We have family here visiting so that they can be there for him tomorrow. I appreciate so much their willingness to drive all this way to support him. We really do have the best family!

Tonight Joshua read us his favorite scriptures. 1 Nephi 8:10-12. When we asked him why he likes those scriptures (which are about the tree of life) he said because he likes fruit and trees and rods. He gets baptized on February 28th and I really, really hope he is ready. He's excited so theres that. But he's also silly and has a hard time answering a question seriously. Its going to be a very bittersweet day for us! BIG NEWS: I got a job today. I wasn't looking for one necessarily but a friend of mine works at the school as a secretary and they needed someone to help out from 11-1. So I applied and I didn't embarrass myself too much during the interview...so they offered me the job! I'm super excited. Like really excited! My first day is tomorrow so keep your fingers crossed that I do okay!

Emily was blessed with her dads lips. She looks fantastic in lipstick. It's always been a favorite thing of mine to apply the brightest red lipstick we have and make her pucker for the camera. Beautiful.

When life gets crazy, something has to be neglected. It's better for it to be my blog than say, my kids, or my dog, or my husband. It was a spur of the moment thing that I decided to get on here and type and it feels good. It feels like home. It's been almost 3 months since I've last blogged and I'm just now realizing how much I've missed it. I've had a lot on my mind lately. It seems like my mind just flits around from thought to thought like feathers in the wind (Forest Gump anyone?). I go from happy thoughts to sad thoughts to deep thoughts and then back to happy thoughts. I think I'm still dealing with emotions from the accident. When I think what could have happened and what actually happened, then I start to get depressed. Especially when I think of what I could have done to Trevor and what I did do to Trevor. It doesn't' make any sense to anyone but me. And I can't even try to explain. I am grateful though to be where we are at now. I...