what a beautiful mess

Where does one start after coming back from an absence of 3 months? Life is not the same now as it was back in April. For better and for worse. Now days, we are much more laid back. We sit around a lot, never getting in the car unless Trevor is driving; we watch Psych and Cake Boss and Good Luck Charlie all day long, interspersed with house work that takes twice as long as it used to. Back in May, Trevor and I went to the Bahamas and spent long days in the sun, holding hands and wandering the island. It was a full week of missing the kids but enjoying our time together. We came away more aware of how much we love being home as a family and while trips away are good, we'd rather be home together. Of course, starting Monday of each week, we start looking forward to Friday night when we get a precious 4 hours out together with no kids... This past year, at least since Joshua started first grade, has been the toughest year of my life and I don't say that lightly. I've strugg...

Joshua was in a play this week at school and played Papa Bear of the Three Little Bears. He was spectacular...I see a future stage presence in him. Maybe he's the next James Franco or something (I'm kidding of course cause James is just weird.). But Josh really did a great job and worked on his lines for weeks to get them memorized. As a bear, he was able to wear a really cool bear hat that his mother-in-law (Mama Bears mother) made for him. So I tried it on too cause I like bear hats. Tomorrow is the beginning of our big week.  Trevor and I are off the the Bahamas for a week of relaxing and doing whatever the heck we want.  We're loaded up and anxious. I'm sure time is going to just fly right by and before we know it, we'll be back home and it will be snowing. Again.  At least its spring.  Today I spent some time and read my journal from way back when...so far back- 1998 to 2004. The entries were mostly few and far between but I loved reading them. ...

This hat made the rounds on sunday. Anna was especially enamored with it. Stephen...not so much. Which is why there are no pictures of him in the hat. For stephen, it's strictly a baseball hat and that's it. I got some really great shots of everyone else in it though.  Annabelle wore it the most and posed like Michael Jackson. If you look closely at Emily in the hat, you can see her chin dimple which I love! And Josh looks like a beach bum wearing it. And the picture of trevor and I is just that. A picture of us with no significance to it except that it's us. Which I love. I'm so glad I get to be the other half of him. (I choose you-Sara Bareilles. Great song.)

We had a really great Easter spending the day together as a family. There was no egg hunt, no egg dyeing but we remembered our Savior and His atonement and that is the only thing that matters. I hope all of you had a very special Easter as well.

The moon looks pretty amazing. That's cause its an Idaho moon and Idaho moons are always amazing. We had a really great night tonight. Trevor took control and got all the kids to happily help with laundry so I wouldn't have to do it by myself tomorrow. We're going to bed early tonight. I think I may be getting sick...bummer. At least it's before our vacation and not during. Sick or not, when an evening is as great as this one's been, it's pretty-close-to-but-not-quite-perfect.

Emily turned 13. Emily turned 13. 13. 13. 13. I can hardly believe it. She is a happy, healthy, full of life kind of girl. She had a good day. We ended up in the cemetery first thing in the morning...on accident of course. And the first grave we saw was that of someone who was born on the same day of the same month as Emily only in 1885 instead of 2001. It was kinda creepy.  And then we watched I Am Legend to celebrate her special day. Cause nothing says I love you and happy birthday than a movie about the end of civilization and blood sucking humans. I'm so glad she's my daughter.

I feel so much peace living here in Rexburg, Idaho.  It's our home and it's where I want my children to grow up.  I've thought a lot about peace lately. Especially the amount of peace that is felt in my home. I sometimes wonder if my kids are the only kids in the world to not get along. I know they aren't and that all kids argue and fight, but in the midst of it, it's hard to realize I'm not alone. This past weekend while watching general conference, I was inspired with some ways to make my home more peaceful. I need to have a home where the spirit feels welcome. Listening to conference talks, uplifting church music, or just nothing at all, is one way to invite the spirit. If the spirit is present, during those times my kids feel frustration with each other, they will be better able to come up with ways to handle it that don't include yelling or kicking each other in the shins or pinching...(the list could go on.) Lately we have gotten off track wit...