what a beautiful mess

Emily is in 8th grade, Annabelle is in 7th grade, Stephen is in 5th grade and Joshua is in 2nd grade. They all had a really good day. Everyone came home happy (although Anna didn't stay that way!) And are ready to go back to school tomorrow. Trevor took me to lunch at the best Mexican restaurant. And tomorrow I get to go to lunch with one of my favorite people in the world. So all in all, a successful start to a new school year!

This past year, Stephens been in 4H raising and training cows/calves. For the most part he's really enjoyed it. This last week they entered their cows into the county fair. Stephen did a really good job. There were lots of things they were judged on but I can't remember them all. However he did win 3 first place ribbons! We were so happy for him and proud of all the hard work he did to train his cow.

A great day! Joshua got the go-ahead from his doctors to stop wearing his brace and we are so flippin' excited. I couldn't stop smiling after his appointment, I was so happy. It feels a little bit like closure. I think we all feel a little more healed emotionally. It hurt to have to tell him that he couldn't do things and have to comfort him while he cried. But he always took it so well and had such a great attitude! He starts school next week and as long as he has good neck movement, he won't have to have any restrictions; he can be a normal little boy again! Today we were able to visit with aunt chelsey while in Salt Lake. We love that girl! The kids were so excited to see her and we had a great time visiting with her. We will never be able to thank her enough for what she did for Joshua and us... It was a really, very, most definitely, great day. As we turned onto our road at 10:30 tonight, Trevor said that it was his favorite turn of the day. We all definitely a...

There are days that we just have to get out of the house. So we grab a blanket, a cake and some soda and head to the park. While there, we take a lot of pictures and then we end up laughing a lot. We always have a great time. Except today we were missing Stephen...so not as great of a time as usual but it was still really good. And these goofy kids are super darn cute.

It's been a day. This morning I didn't get out of bed until ten o'clock. And I woke up to a puddle of drool (my own). That's gross and private but I don't care. I've been hurting more than usual for the last couple of days. I've been trying to do too much and I've ended up paying for it. By the end of the day, around 6 p.m. my brace is back on till the next morning and I have an annoying nerve thats out of whack by my temple that makes me feel like I have a very large bug crawling around right there in my hair. By then I'm pretty much feeling crazy and probably acting it as well. I wish I was more like Josh. He's patient. He has a really good attitude. He never complains.  He goes on with life like nothings really happened. In fact I think he may be proud to wear his brace in a I'm-a-tough-kid kind of way. He isn't afraid to need help or to ask for help (I'm learning...). I need to be more like him! Today Josh and I went to see a ...

I've got three different things I could do right now; watch Army Wives, read my book "The Hard Way" (its Jack Reacher and I actually really like it), or I could update my blog. As you can tell, the blog won. And I have something specific to blog about. Body image. I know...its a tough one. But its on my mind.  For as long as I can remember I've had issues with the way my own body looked. No matter what other people thought about how my body looked, my opinion was the only one that mattered and it was never a nice opinion. The months before our accident I was having a very hard time with the way I looked and fit into clothes. I had gained weight despite my hour and a half work outs and my relatively healthy eating.  Having been told all my life how thin I was, when I did gain weight it felt like I was losing part of my identity. Its crazy, I know but my mind was being mean to me. And I allowed it to belittle myself constantly. Looking back, I can see the purpose ...

When Emily was born, we were expecting a boy. And the same goes with Annabelle. Its been 12 years since Anna was born and I couldnt be more proud or more pleased with my two beautiful ladies. That being said, they can make me certifiably insane. The last couple of days they haven't talked to each other without it becoming an argument. And I know arguing at this age won't be detrimental to their adult relationship with each other but there are some things I wish I could make them understand. 1. One day they are going to rely on each other for support and comfort. I remember the day my brother Stephen went to the hospital, my siblings and I were outside with the ambulances. I saw my sister Jessica and felt that I needed to be near her. We hugged each other and I remember being comforted because she was there. 2. Life will get hard and talking to me will not be easy and they may not even want to. But they will be able to talk to each other. With them being so close in age, they ...

So I was once accused of over compensating in my marriage; trying to make others think it's better than it actually is. For myself, if for no one else, I need to set the record straight. I love my marriage. Trevor and I have worked hard on our marriage from day 1. We put each other first, we don't criticize unless it's constructive and in private, and we don't belittle each other or try to make the other feel bad. We look forward to the time we get to spend together, always. We have a strong, wonderful marriage because we work at it. Just because I don't share with others or here on my blog, the hard parts or our disagreements, doesn't mean I sugar coat it and try to make it seem perfect. I simply love to share happiness both on my blog and in conversations. We're seeing a counselor right now and the other night he reminded us that we may not have a perfect marriage but we are perfect for each other. So true. HOWEVER (and this is kind of funny), the other...

There are times during the day when I feel so happy. I've always been happy, but its little moments that fill me up with happiness. Of course, there are also times during the day when I feel super frustrated...I just like to remember the happy moments. I love my life. Love, love, love. I am grateful for every moment, every experience...just everything. Things aren't perfect. They never will be. I don't think I will ever be the person I want to be. But I am so happy with where we are right now. We are healthy, alive, and so content. Here's a progress report on each of us. Emily: She is doing great. Her back hurts when she sleeps or when she's been slumping for too long but she never complains. Her arm is pretty scarred from the road rash but we have a prescription cream that should help them fade. Except for her puncture scar on her upper arm. She's decided not to to try to fade that. It's a good reminder of what's happened; sort of like a battle sc...

The kids and I went on a much needed walk today. We went for about two miles and they all did fantastic. However I was completely exhausted by the end. We walked half the route I use to run. It took us 4x the amount of time it used to take me to run it. Ah well. I'm a slave to time right now. Even though I'm not up to the physical activity that I was before the accident, I still like to be motivated and pinterest is a great resource for motivation. I find lots of great quotes, not only for running but for life as well. I love when I find one that combines the two! I want my kids to know the importance of being physically accident so I have made a goal to walk as a family as often as our health allows it. Which will be often cause I don't know if you know this, but I can be quite stubborn!